I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize