So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
