I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
