I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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