make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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