I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
