Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
