In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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