hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
