Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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