Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize