I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm always down for nudity.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
