In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
