i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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