i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
