Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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