I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
