dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
