So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize