It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
