She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
