Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Two words: blizzard sex
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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