I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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