Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
