he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just pee around me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
