Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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