Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
