ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize