Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
