Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
