My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
