Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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