in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize