Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
