I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
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