What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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