I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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