my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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