Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
