I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize