I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
