elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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