Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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