legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
