Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
