My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
