Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
