return my video game
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
