1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
there is puke in my bra ... again
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
