Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
