Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
