dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
