whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
