Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
