The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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