I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize