some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
