we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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