I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
