Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
