So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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